Day 3: Bai Hai Park & Hutongs

Ben woke up at 4:30 a.m. this morning crying for "Mama". He could not be consoled and cried for 5-10 minutes. Finally I offered a sip of water and he was fine...right back to sleep. When he awoke again around 7:30 a.m. he was in the bedroom alone (well, Sam was asleep on the inflatable bed) and calmly said, "Mama". We peeked in and he was sitting in the middle of the bed waiting for me. He tugged at my arm and cried a little. I couldn't figure out what he wanted....he pulled me to the front door where our shoes are lined up. He wanted his shoes on! In China, the children are rarely ever without shoes on. He would sleep and bathe in them if we let him.  


We then headed downstairs for breakfast. We tried the main restaurant today (vs. the smaller restaurant on our floor). I think he was overwhelmed. It was very busy and loud....not a good start for the day. He didn't want to sit still. He ate a little...mostly sweets and sausage and bananas....the only food he'll eat and started to become very fidgety and unsettled. I took him upstairs while Greg and Sam finished.


We decided to try the Bai Hai park today and took a taxi from our hotel. The park was beautiful and very crowded....lots of music, exercising and shops. Benjamin spent most of the time testing us and crying - often screaming. He didn't want to be held and didn't want to walk. Then he'd walk for a bit and want to be held for a bit...up and down....up and down. Then he wanted my sunglasses. We decided to buy him a pair and he looked adorable...until he started throwing them on the ground. We'd pick them up and take them away...which threw him into orbit. Normal 2 1/2 year old behavior stuff but more consistent with more screeching outbreaks. Honestly, it was expected at some point...but very tough on all of us. He is very heavy to carry and doesn't like the stroller or Ergo carrier. He walks slowly but doesn't have the steadiest walk and the traffic, people, etc. makes it difficult for him.


We then took a tour of the Hutong...that was nice because he was in a rickshaw with me and the motion and breeze nearly put him to sleep! A very interesting excursion (see Greg's pics!) and I wish we had more time to explore the area. It's fascinating how different life, even within Beijing, can be. Ben LOVES dogs...I mean really, really LOVES dogs. He saw one in the Hutong and nearly lept out of the rickshaw! "Gow Gow" he says. Can't wait for him to meet Chez...thankfully Jack has put Chezzy through the ringers so Benjamin should be a breeze!


We then took a taxi back to the hotel. Greg and Sam went across the street for Subway takeout and I stayed behind with Ben. I gave him a bath to calm him down but he was beyond tired. He was inconsolable over the most minor of things...things that he would have handled fine yesterday or two days ago. I finally laid him down for nap - screaming - and left the room. Within a few minutes he was fast asleep.


Benjamin's behavior is VERY typical....I believe....and expected. EVERYTHING in his world has changed.....I can't imagine putting Sam, Ellie or Jack through what Ben is experiencing. But, it's difficult and extremely painful/frustrating to watch....and very mentally and physically tiresome. We know it will be better. We believe he understands a good deal of what we say and he's learning more English every day. But there's still a huge gap. He certainly doesn't understand who we are or why we aren't taking him "home". He's in that in between stage....too old to not understand and too young to understand. Who can blame the guy?! It's so heart-breaking. I wish I could communicate to him better. When someone speaks to him in Mandarin he backs away. It's almost as though it scares him. Poor guy!

He is sooooo sweet and makes us laugh (when he's not crying!). He has such a fun and playful personality and we can't wait for everyone at home to meet him. He is becoming more affectionate and opening up to Greg more too. We played "pass the Cheerio" in the taxi on the ride back to the hotel (with our mouths) and he was cracking up. He gets funny play and has this look about him that Sam calls "his rotten face". It's very funny...he tilts his head and nearly closes his eyes and smiles. He knows he's cute and I believe he knows we adore him.


It's very difficult not knowing his daily routine, eating habits, likes/dislikes, etc. The orphanage told us virtually nothing...and what they did say, was not communicated by his caregivers so we aren't sure how accurate, if at all, the information is. As much as someone can prepare for this journey, it's impossible to be prepared. Every situation is different but there is a common thread....I've followed enough blogs to know there is a light. This too shall pass. Benjamin is the cutest, sweetest little guy and we love him so much. It's frustrating not knowing how to make him understand what is happening or knowing when to set limits and boundaries for his behavior.  


So, with all that said, it's the middle of the day and Ben has been sleeping for almost 2 hours! YAY! Hopefully he'll take a loooonnng nap and we'll order in room service or pizza. I think we need to be sensitive to overstimulating him and running him (and us) down with excursions. Tomorrow will be a hectic day of appointments so we'll take it easy tonight.

Benjamin awoke after a 4 hour nap!! Greg went down the street to find a sippy cup and a stroller and was accosted by 3 women and a man - at different times. One of the women wanted Greg to teach her English and buy him a drink. The others were trying to sell him "services"....hmmm....LOL!!! 

We ordered room service and we're headed to bed early. Good for all of us!! Hoping tomorrow is a little better day. Miss everyone at home terribly...especially Ellie and Jack!